Life comes full circle for Leah Cull as she turns ‘pain into power’

For Arigna woman Leah Cull, every hour counts. Alongside her role as an administrator at Boyle Family Resource Centre, she serves as a county councillor, works part-time on the family farm and gives her time to several community groups, including North West STOP. Time for all of us is precious and for Leah, how it is used matters deeply.

The Sinn Féin councillor, who was first elected just over two years ago for the Boyle Municipal District, admits that life is hectic, but she is making the most of it and loving every minute.

Her life has not been an easy one, intertwined with grief following the sudden deaths of her father and young brother, but she believes she has “turned that pain into power,” adding, “if I can help one person to feel seen, heard, or normal, that’s a wonderful thing.” The 30-year-old is very open about how grief has played a major role in forming the person she is today and how the past was the impetus to seek election as she wanted to bring about change in the mental health system.

Growing up on a farm at Tullynaha, Arigna, she was the oldest daughter of Claire and the late Owen, with two siblings, the late James and Brian. She attended Greaghnafarna National School and went on to secondary education in Drumshanbo. Life was fairly normal for the young teenager until 2014, when her father died by suicide.

In the midst of grief, she went on to complete a number of courses, including photography, fitness and beauty, but later decided to move to Australia.

She recalled: “I ended up having a makeup business in Carrick-on-Shannon for three years and it was really busy, which is so random because I'm such a tomboy. I had a freelance business so I did a lot of weddings and events and I remember when I decided to go to Australia people actually told me that I was made because I had such a well-established make-up business, which is really weird to think about now, but again everything happens for a reason.” However, she felt the need “to get away from it all.” 

In Australia she drove machines and did traffic control. “It was a really blissful time because there’s a lot to be said for just going to work in a job, you’re not emotionally attached to. But it was time of healing and of crying. It was strange time but a worthwhile time. I think I just needed a bit of space away from the madness as we were pretty young when it all happened.” 

Life was to take yet another tragic turn when her brother James died by suicide on February 3rd, 2019. Looking back on that time, she said: “I feel like the grief sheltered me from a lot of stuff, I feel so bad for my younger self. Around that time, if I received a call, I would automatically think someone had passed away.” 

It has left her with a lot of anxiety, but she said, “I’ve done a lot of work on it.” She pays tribute to her younger Brian who is just 20-years-old.“My brother is the best person I know. How he is the way that he is really fantastic. He’s miles ahead of me mentally. He has a great understanding of life, of his own emotions. He can recognise patterns and I’m so grateful he has those traits instilled and it helps me and my mother. We can learn so much from him.” 

The family also decided to hold onto the family farm even though Brian and their mother had moved to Drumshanbo. Leah and her family were the sixth or seventh generations of the Culls to live there. But she said the farm is somewhere they go when they need a mental health break. “Sometimes on a Sunday we just turn the phone off for a while and we go and dip sheep and turn the hardship into something a bit more positive.” 

Returning back to Ireland she said she “did not do things in a linear way like everybody else, but I don’t have any regrets. When I came back from Australia, I thought I would love to be a therapist. I got involved with North West STOP and that taught me a lot. I’m a purposeful person, I need to have a purpose, so I decided I wanted to go and study counselling and psychotherapy.” 

She pays tribute to NW STOP for helping her, her family and James’ friends following his death. Within a few weeks of his passing the group brought all of them together to explain the grief process and the services available to them. Leah is thankful for the way the organisation reached out to assist them all.

She said James’ life “opened up to me the way the mental health system works.” She added: “You could be the best therapist in the world but if you don’t have any sort of political change at community level then it doesn’t really matter.” Perhaps it was this thinking that set her on her political journey. 

Although she comes from a Republican background, she said her family never forced that thinking on her. Her father always encouraged her to think for herself and make up her own mind when voting. At around 16-years of age she began canvassing with Deputy Claire Kerrane. “I learned a lot from her, I am very lucky to have her. She is a mentor, colleague and a friend,” she said.

She was approached a number of times to seek a council seat but said: “I’m an anxious person. but I’m always trying to learn how to deal with it. My friends say that ‘Leah is a lot happier off her phone with no coverage in the middle of the forest.’ I hate social media.

“I was still doing my studies and working with Northwest STOP. I developed a new found love of my own area. During lockdown a lot of people suddenly realised we are so lucky to live in rural Ireland. I remember walking to The Tops, it’s like a mountain in the Arigna area, and thinking I am the luckiest person to be from here. It was such a big realisation.” 

Eventually she was asked one last time if she would run for election. “Maybe it was divine timing or something because I remember it was to that date ten years before that I attended my first Sinn Fein meeting. I started to believe maybe this was meant to happen. I kind of thought, “Look I can’t change the mental health system from a national point of view, but I believe that mental health in general starts on a community basis. If we live in a vibrant welcoming community for everyone where everyone feels accepted, we can make it easier to talk to each other. Rural isolation is so big, and I thought I could work on having a more community approach to mental health programmes.

“It was ‘right I’ll give it a go.’ There was probably a naivety to that, but I don’t resent that naivety because I feel there was nothing calculated about what I wanted to do. It was very much give it a go, I never had a sales pitch and I just said to myself, ‘to try my best’.” When she accepted the nomination, she was determined to continue her studies but unfortunately due to how busy life has gotten she has had to defer her counselling and psychotherapy course.

Today looking at the mental health system, she said, “Everyone in that sector is unbelievable and they’re doing their best with what they have. When I talked about it (her own losses) years ago I can’t put into words the number of messages that I got – it was the same pattern of people. I thought ‘this is not good enough’ especially as this is a really wealthy country, but this still keeps happening.

“People are just coming out (of treatment) and left to their own devices with no therapy. It’s such a grey area. There’s a difference between people that want therapy and people that are in crisis. We are directing people to A&E which is not the place for them.” 

Earlier this year Boyle Family Resource Centre announced the appointment of Leah as its new counselling centre administrator. She admits it’s not easy having a full-time job along with working as a county councillor and her other commitments. “There are never enough hours in the day. It’s hard to juggle. I have loyalties to two different places at the moment but I’m balancing it.” 

She explained that she is the first point of contact for someone looking for therapy. “It really is my dream job, and I feel I envisioned this life in a way. I know what it’s like to ring for therapy, it’s so daunting. I really feel the job is made for me as it gives me so much purpose as I work with the clinical leads to assign clients to therapists.” “It a tiny bit of closure. You can turn pain into power.” Part of that power is helping with hidden homelessness to the point she has previously offered her own spare room to people in need. One of the best days of her council work to date was hearing that one of the people she had advocated for had received housing.

“There’s an empathetic side of me that I think shouldn’t be in politics but maybe if we had more empathetic politicians, we wouldn’t be in the state we are in.” 

Her love for Boyle is obvious as she recalls memories of visiting with her father and brothers as a child. “I have such wonderful memories of the town. I look at the town through a county councillor’s eyes, but I will still look at it though a child’s eyes that were so excited. I think there is something very special about Boyle that other areas around don’t have. I feel so grateful to work here now and work with locals, different volunteers, committees and businesses. The people of this town are passionate and that’s just really refreshing to work with.” She looks at her life now as having come full circle. “My life is chaotic, don’t get me wrong, but there is a lovely full circle moment to all of this,” recalling how her dad also worked in the town.

And as to her future political ambitions and the possibility of seeking a Dail seat she is adamant saying, “Absolutely not. I want to work at local level to prove myself.” 

*If you have been affected by any of these issues you can contact North West STOP Free Counselling on 0818 444 000 or Boyle Family Resource Centre Counselling & Psychotherapy on 071 9663000.