Country-Sides: Blown away -surviving first ever breath test
Getting breathalysed for the first time is a stress inducing experience says Molly O'Reilly.
There are certain milestone moments in life that stay with you forever: your first day of school, your first heartbreak, and, apparently, your first time being breathalysed. Some people remember weddings or world travel. I remember a plastic tube and a Garda laughing at me.
The other day, while driving perfectly legally and paying full attention, my mind wandered back to when I had my brush with roadside law enforcement. It was my first and only time being breathalysed – an experience I still dine out on, emotionally speaking.
Picture it: the sun shining, tunes blasting, and me leaving my shift at the bar of a Dublin golf course. I was fairly sure I had plans with the girls later, which added an extra pep to my step and possibly to my right foot on the accelerator (within reason, obviously). Life was good.
And then I saw them: not one, but two squad cars ahead, pulling over motorists and peering into car windows. My heart shot straight into my mouth. I’ve nothing against the gardaí and I’ve never committed a crime, to my knowledge, but I’m an anxious person. Add N plates to the mix – my poor wee Hyundai practically flagged them down itself.
Naturally, I was stopped. The Garda was pure sound. Me? I forgot how to speak English. When asked if I’d been around alcohol, I panicked and blurted out, “I work in a bar!” It was four o’clock in the day. I looked so nervous I’d have suspected myself.
Shaking like a hand at Mass, I was handed “the contraption”. The pressure was unreal – worse than the Leaving Cert. I announced, with pride and terror, that this was my first time being breathalysed. Subtlety has never been my strength. I probably also told him what I had for breakfast.
I followed the instructions, blew my heart out, and passed with flying colours. Not a bother. County standard lungs, only for the knee, you know yourself. The gardaí laughed, we bonded, and I drove off buzzing with a story I couldn’t wait to repeat about 40 times.
Best of all, I got a souvenir. The tube. Still not sure why.
I had to blast the air con afterwards due to stress-induced sweating, but honestly, worth it. Some people reminisce about wild nights out. I reminisce about obeying the law. Maybe I do need an adult drama club.
