Judge grants access to man to see children fathered by ex-partner
Gordon Deegan
A judge has granted access for a man to see two young children fathered by his ex-partner, despite the father describing the man as a “stranger”.
At the Family Law Court, Judge Alec Gabbett has granted access to the man, who has no biological link to the two children, for a limited number of access visits each year.
The man is named on the baptismal certificates as a parent to the two, but not on their birth certificates as the two children were born to surrogate mothers overseas during the man's years-long relationship with the father of the two children, aged under five.
The estranged gay couple were not married and the father of the two children “vigorously” opposed any access for his ex-partner to his two children.
In his ruling after one day of evidence, Judge Gabbett has found that the applicant had played a significant part in the children’s lives and was regarded as a co-parent by the father.
Judge Gabbett said that the applicant wants to be an "uncle" type figure to the two children, "and the court can only see benefit to this in the children’s lives".
Referring to the applicant, Judge Gabbett said: “It is very clear he loves the children and separation for him has been difficult.”
Judge Gabbett said that the father, as the children’s guardian, believes that they are too young to understand “and don’t or won't remember the applicant”.
Judge Gabbett said that the court does not agree with the father and said that his views “are tainted by the acrimony of a relationship breakdown”.
Judge Gabbett said that the applicant paid for half the childcare costs and the father had certain expectations from the applicant concerning parenting which are seen in text message exchanges that a co-parenting couple engage in day to day.
The father denied that his ex-partner lived with him, but Judge Gabbett found that they did reside together, pointing to a letter from the father’s solicitor to the applicant’s employer confirming that he is a cohabitant.
Judge Gabbett said that he had in mind six to eight access visits each month lasting two to three hours and adjourned the case to allow both parties to decide on what level of access there will be.
Shortly after, the parties returned to court with a written agreement and after studying the terms, Judge Gabbett commented: “That is very close to what I thought myself”.
Judge Gabbett noted that the parties had agreed to a condition of no photos during the access visits.
Solicitor for the father, Caroline Doherty, expressed concern that Judge Gabbett’s ruling could open the floodgates for similar applications.
In response, Judge Gabbett said: “I don’t make the law, I only interpret and enforce the law. There may well be a floodgate, there is nothing I can do.”
Judge Gabbett said that the 2015 Children and Family Relationship Act “was designed for this”. Counsel for the applicant, Emily Ryan BL, said that the access "will hopefully work out as a positive story, particularly for the children".
In a contested hearing last month, the father told the court he opposed the access application.
He said: “I don’t want to bring a stranger into the children's lives now, and that is what he is to them - a stranger.”
He said that the children have seen the applicant for only 10 hours in 18 months, and when they were in a relationship, the two children were very young and at the time non-verbal.
He said: “I don’t want him around me or my children. They don’t remember him and they have a lot of supportive, consistent, patient people in their lives at the moment and I would like it to stay that way.”
The father said: “He was just my partner. He was going out with someone who had children.”
He said: “I did show the children a picture of him last week to see if they would recognise him and they didn’t.”
The applicant told Judge Alec Gabbett that he was making the application “in the best interests” of the two children.
He told the court: “I was always a Dad to the two.”
He said that while together with his partner, the two and the two young children “were a family unit”.
The applicant said that he had “a very strong bond” with the two children.
He said: “I did all the tasks of feeding. I changed their nappies. I did night feeds and there is a bond when a baby is looking up at you at 2am in the morning.”
He said that his then partner taught him “how to hold the bottle, wind the baby, how to change the nappy and the cleaning of a baby. It was all new to me and we worked together as a team”.
He said: “I was co-parenting.”
He said that when the second surrogate mother became pregnant, his then partner announced to his family “that we were having another baby in the Summer”.
