Man (30s) who psychologically and physically abused partner is jailed

Isabel Hayes

A man who physically and psychologically abused his partner for years, assaulting her and threatening to murder her and her family members, has been jailed for three and a half years.

The 30-year-old Dublin man pleaded guilty at the Central Criminal Court to six counts of criminal damage, three counts of assault causing harm and two counts of threatening to kill the woman and her family members.

The counts the man pleaded guilty to span from 2016 to 2022 and come under Section 40 of the Domestic Violence Act, the court heard.

He can't be named to protect the anonymity of the victim.

The court heard the couple were in a relationship from when they were teenagers in 2011 until 2022, when the woman took out a protection order against him.

In her victim impact statement to the court, she said: “His words broke me long before his fists did.”

Turbulent relationship

Garda Nicola Duffy told Eilis Brennan SC, prosecuting, that the couple got together when they were very young and had a turbulent relationship, in which he was “intense and possessive”.

On separate occasions, the man punched the woman, threw a lamp at her, and forced her into a bath and poured cold water on her, the court heard.

He made her feel worthless and eroded her self-confidence, she said.

After their relationship ended, he threatened her with murder suicide, telling her he would pile up the dead bodies of her, her sister and her mother in a “dead burger sandwich”.

Sentencing the man on Monday, Ms Justice Mary Ellen Ring said the man's physical violence was nothing compared to the psychological effect of living with the man, noting the victim's life was filled with stress and fear.

“His acute jealousy was fuelling his aggression and loss of control,” she said, noting his incidents of violence sometimes took place in the presence or vicinity of his own son.

The judge handed down a five-year sentence and suspended the final 18 months on a number of conditions, including that he engage in intimate partner violence programmes and other programmes as directed by the Probation Service.

She ordered him to have no contact whatsoever with his victim during his time in custody and for a period of five years afterwards.

Incidents

In the first incident, which occurred around November 2016, the court heard the man punched the woman in the face while their baby was in the cot over an argument about what takeaway food to get. He told her she shouldn't have “riled” him up, the court heard.

The young woman said nothing to anybody about what happened as she was afraid her baby would be taken away from her, the court heard.

The following month, the man punched a wardrobe door during an argument which was witnessed by the woman's mother, with whom they were living at the time.

This caused a rift between the man and the woman's mother.

In the third incident before the court, the man was trying to put their then three-year-old son in a dark room by himself to punish him. His partner resisted this and took the child out of the room, after which the man “went spare” and punched the television.

In November 2020, when the couple were living in their own apartment, the man smashed the woman's phone after she went out with her sister and missed a number of calls from him.

He claimed she was hiding something from him and seeing other men, which was a constant theme in their relationship, the court heard.

He smashed her phone again on two other occasions in similar situations.

In February 2022, he threw a lamp at her head, while accusing her of cheating on him. Their son was present and when he asked why his dad was shouting, the man replied: “Because mommy is lying again.”

He later claimed that the plug had hit her head, not the heavy lamp. He also asked her why she didn't “move out of the way”.

He later told their child that “silly mommy” dropped the hairdryer on her head, causing the injury. The woman felt she couldn't tell anyone what had really happened.

The relationship deteriorated, and in August 2022, he once again accused her of cheating on him after she had gone out with her sister.

He criticised her false tan and forced her into the bath where he made her sit in cold water and scrub off the tan while he interrogated her as to what she had “really been up to”.

He sprayed cold water into her face as she begged him to stop, telling him he was drowning her. He then threw a container of cold water at her face and left the bathroom to play a video game.

The woman set her phone to record and recorded a conversation between them during which she told him what he had done in the bath was a form of torture.

He replied: “You met someone who does extreme things.”

The relationship ended soon afterwards when the man initially claimed he wanted to end it and she agreed.

He soon became angry however and in a phone call, told her he would make her, her mother and her sister into a “dead burger sandwich” with their dead bodies piled up on top of each other.

Threats

This abusive behaviour culminated in the man ringing the woman, making a threat of murder suicide and threatening to smash up her place of work.

The woman made a statement to gardaí and got a barring order out against him that same day.

The final count of criminal damage against the man related to when he went home and chopped up the woman's favourite clothes and smashed her hairdryer.

When interviewed by gardaí, he minimised everything and said she had been cheating on him. He has no previous convictions.

In a victim impact statement which she read out herself, the woman said the man made her feel “worthless” and filled with self-doubt, low confidence and low self-esteem.

“I began to believe I wasn't good enough for anyone but (him),” she said, referring to “the control and constant manipulation” she was subjected to.

“I still can't believe this was my life for 12 years,” she said. “The main reason I began this was to show my now nine-year-old son you can't treat your partner or anyone else this way and if you do, you will suffer the consequences.”

Ms Justice Ring commended the woman for her bravery, telling her: “Most people don't have to be brave in their life.”

In his plea of mitigation, Garret Baker SC, defending, said his client had a letter of apology in court.

He noted a Probation Service report stated the man minimised his actions and had a distorted thinking in relation to intimate partner violence.

The court heard he has a new partner who was in court to support him, prompting Ms Justice Ring to query whether this woman is aware that he is at high risk of further violence in a relationship.

The court heard the man was bullied as a young teenager in school and has a history of depression.

If you have been affected by any of the issues raised in this article, you can contact Women’s Aid (24-hour freephone helpline at 1800-341 900, email helpline@womensaid.ie) or Men’s Aid Ireland (confidential helpline at 01-554 3811, email hello@mensaid.ie) for support and information.

Safe Ireland also offers a number of local services and helplines at safeireland.ie/get-help/where-to-find-help/. In the case of an emergency, always dial 999/112.